Merry Christmas

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海, がんばったね

アメリカに帰る何日か前に, 海の幼稚園の参観日がありました.
この日に思った事はしっかり残さなきゃと思い, ここにもかきました.

A few days before we left Japan, we had parents day at his preschool.
I really felt that I need to write down what I felt that day.

いつも帰って来ると私にベタベタで, 疲れてるはずなのにまだあそぼうよの毎日....
私はもう!!暑いんだからとかのっかるなぁ!!! とか, まだ遊びたいの??
少しやすみなよ!!とか何度も冷たい態度をとってしまったりしてて, あの子の頭の中の事を考えてあげてなかったなぁとかなり反省しました.

Whenever he came home from school, he wouldn't let me go. He always wanted to play with me and wanted my FULL attention. I wasn't always nice to him. Now I think of it, I was pretty cold to him. I didn't try hard enough to care his needs every time he asked me to do something with him.

年長さんと一緒の1ヵ月間, 先生からも何度も海が友達に手をあげてしまったと言う電話があり, 幼稚園早かったかなとか.... 私の育て方悪いのか.... とか色々悩んだりもしました. そんな時, おばさんに今海は社会勉強してるんだから, ここでちゃんといいこと悪いこと教えて, 勉強させてあげなよ! と励まされ, 海も
慣れない環境でがんばりました.

He was put into the oldest class there. I often got a call from his teacher saying Kai hit his friends... Kai pinched his friends... She explained me that it looked like he was just so excited to be there that he doesn't know how to express his excitement. But still it was not good to be physical like that. Whenever I got phone calls I regretted putting Kai in the school. I thought him being physical might not be him showing excitement and it could be his frustration not knowing the language and not being able to communicate.
I really thought about pulling him out of school, but my aunt told me that if I did so I would take Kai's social learning opportunities away. That is true. I wanted him to learn. Me and Kai often had talks about respect and care for others. He seemed to understand what we talked about little by little as days went by.



私を見ながらニコニコして, 手をふって, すごくうれしそうにしてる海. とってもかわいかった. ちゃんと先生の指示にもしたがって, まわりのお友達のしてる事を見ながらちゃんと椅子に座って, お絵書きしてて. もっとお歌とか手遊びとかあるのかなぁと思ってたのが, さすが年長組! やることや本の内容とかがけっこう海の年には高度で, この中で頑張ってたんだぁと思うと胸があつくなって, ぎゅうっと抱きしめてあげたくなりました. 全く日本語が出なかった海. きっと彼も戸惑ってた毎日だったんだろうな... 友達になろうっ, 皆と同じくなろうって頑張ってたんだろうな.... 3才の子供には結構過酷な事をさせてしまったかもと反省したのと同時に毎朝笑顔でバスにのって楽しんでやりとげた海がとてもたくましく見えました.

During my visit, he was so excited to see me. He was waving at me and looked so happy to have me. He was so cute. He was listening to his teacher pretty well, and followed his friends to get his project done. He stayed seated the whole time I was there. I imagined that his age level will be doing a lot of singing, dancing, playing, drawing and stuff, but the oldest class is getting ready to be in the 1st grade. Kai had a little bit of taste of being in the kindergarten. It must have been tough for him. Thinking about that almost made me cry. I bet he was trying so hard to understand what was going on, trying to fit in, trying to speak their language.... It wasn't easy for a 3 year old. It sure wasn't easy for me to go to foreign county when I was 15. Kai, I am so proud of you.



すごいなぁ海. 頑張ったんだね. 沢山ほめてあげなきゃね.

パパとママの産まれ育った国が違う. 自分はアメリカ人であって, 日本人でもある...

これからいいことも辛い事もいっぱいあると思うけど2つの文化に誇りを持って育っ
てほしいなと思います.

I bet it is not easy having parents from different counties, cultures... Especially when he is in Japan. He will be always different from others. I hope that the difference will be a positive thing for him and Lily. And I need to teach and raise my kids in a way that they will be proud to be half Japanese and American.

日本への里帰り (日本語)

子供達と私は6週間程日本へ里帰りをしてきました! 家族の皆や
友達達に会えてとっても楽しい時間を過ごしました. ジョシーを一人
おいて行くのはとっても悪いなぁと思いながら, でも離れてまた分かるお
互いの必要さとか, いい時間になったかなと思います. 天気もなかなかよ
くならず, 暑くなったり寒くなったりで, でも帰る頃になって少し夏らし
い日も! でもあんなにムシムシしてたかなぁと蒸し暑さにやられました.
沢山イベント事もあってとっても楽しかったぁ!!!
両親も沢山甘えさせるぞーとの意気込み通り, 子供達とってもかわいがっ
てもらいました!!!ここ2年 写真や電話だけののおじいちゃんおばあちゃ
んだったので実際に会えて沢山愛を受けて子供達にとっても本当によかっ
たと思います!!! そして両親に限らず, 家族のみーんなにとってもかわい
がっていただいて, 特におばぁちゃんにも何回もだっこしてもらって, と
っても貴重な時間を過ごしました.



今回はずっと前から海を幼稚園に行かせようと色々, ママ仲間からお話をきいたり,電話をかけたりとがんばりました. 結局, 色々悩んだ末に, 近所のお世話になっている御家族の息子さんが(海の事を覚えててくれてる)通ってるところにお世話になろうと決め, いってまいりました!!! その息子さんのお蔭で, 朝泣く事もなく, 幼稚園で泣く事もなく, イヤダとだだをこねる事もほとんどなく, 毎朝笑顔でバスに乗り, 通園してくれました!!!! あの日本語ゼロの海君の日本語もすごい上達して, 改めて子供の脳のやわらかさにビックリさせられました.





リリーも家族の皆ととっても楽しい時間を過ごしました. 時々見せる凄い食べっぷりに皆ビックリでした. リリーも海の時と違って全く人見しりもせず, 誰のひざにでもチョコンと乗り, 皆さんにとってもかわいがってもらいました. 前に送った写真の写り具合いが悪いのか, 写真とちがってとってもかわいいねぇとよく言われたり....(私も送った写真を見ながらこれは確かに写り悪かったなぁと思いながら.....) 自分の子だといいも悪いもないもので....(笑) りりーが私の真似をして父の事をパパと呼ぶようになり, 父も私とかぶるといいながら涙ぐむ事も多くありました. 涙もろい親子なのでしょっちゅう泣いてました.








私もたーくさん食べましたよぉ!! 途中までがんばって痩せないとと色々母のエクササイズグッツをやってましたが, 後半諦めが入ってきました. 友人の旦那様は私の帰る時の太り具合いをいつも楽しみにしているそうで.... 目標! がっかりさせる. のはずが...おいしい食べものの誘惑は簡単には避けられません....温泉に, おいしいご飯, はぁ.... あれなしにどうやっていこう...作るしかないなぁ...



そしてそして, 仲のよかった中学時代からの親友達にも会えて, とってもとってもうれしかったぁ! 皆バラバラになって違う人生あゆんで, ずっとあってなくっても昔のように話せる. やっぱり友達って大事ですよね. 35才か40才になったら温泉旅行にでもっなんて話しました. 皆母になって, それぞれお友達がいるなかで, こうして会って仲が絶えないのは本当にすごい事だなと思いました.ありがとう!!!


そしてちょっとシリアスに.....

今回は楽しいだけの里帰りではありませんでした. きっとアメリカに住んでるママ達にはきっとよく分かる話. 特に私は一人っ子でとっても大事に育てていただいて, 今回は両親とまわりの家族の愛がひしひしと伝わる毎日でした. 毎回行く度に知り合いに言われる大事な家族との距離への一言にとっても傷ついて, 悪気
があるわけじゃないんだろうけど, いつも言われるたびに自分を責めていました. 自分の結婚の決断に疑問を持ったり, でも笑ってる子供の顔を見る度にこの子達がここにいるのは間違いじゃないと自分をはげましたり. でもどんなにはげましてもらっても大事な両親や家族を残して行く事に自分を責めない日は1日として
ありませんでした. そんな中でも私の家族は悪い事1つも言わず, 海とリリーという孫, ひ孫が産まれてきた事, 一所懸命育てている事に自信を持ちなさいと励ましてくれたり, 父も親にとって子供が幸せでいる事, そして孫が幸せに育っていることが1番の願いだといってもらいました. そんなやさしい家族をおいていくの
がとってもとっても辛く, 飛行機に乗っても涙がとまりませんでした. ジョシーも今まで以上にこれからの事をかなり真剣に考えてくれていて, 家族の皆に自分達がどれだけ想っているか伝えられる方法を探していこうと真剣に考えて協力してくれています.






日本とアメリカ.... 直行便もでて今まで以上に快適に,快速につくようになってこれからもっと家族にしてあげられる事を考えて, 出来る事はしていこうと深く思った里帰りでした.

また海くんの幼稚園のはなしなど後でかきます!!!

Trip to Japan 日本への里帰り

Kids and I have visited Japan last 6 weeks. It was a lot of fun to see all my family and friends. I felt bad for leaving Josiah here all alone, but it is always nice to have the chance to remind myself (and him) how much we need each other ;0) The weather there at first was as bad as Utah's May. It was super cold one day and hot the next day! But it got better and warmer in late June. I just forgot how humid it was over there. There were a lot of events going on there during this visit. Kai's school had a lot of events, 3 festivals, family trip... We really had a great time there. My parents were dying to spoil my kids and they were totally rotten! Kids had awesome time with their grandparents that they have only seen on the pictures for last two years. I am glad that not only my parents but other family members got to see the kids and spend great time with them. Especially my grandmas.

This time, I have decided to send Kai to yo-chien (pre-school) in Japan. I made some phone calls to arrange his enrollment before we went to Japan. Most of the schools in my town said they would accept him, so I decided to take him to a school that my friend's mom owns. My friends' kids are also going there so I thought Kai will have some friends he knew. He had a great time there and his Japanese really improved!
I will get into more details later!

Lily had a great time with all my family members! She is so not shy that everyone totally adored her! I guess she looked a lot different from the pics that I have sent before, they told me how cuter she looked ;0) (good thing? right?) She called my dad "papa" as I called him. He told me that everything she does reminded him of me that he would get emotional all the time as he played with her.

I got to eat a lot of great food!!!! I gave up on losing weight. My friend's husband was excited to see how much I gained at the end of the trip, so it was my goal to disappoint him. I will totally miss all the great food. and hot springs.... I think kids will really miss the convenience stores there and the vending machines. They were addicted to the vending machines. I got to see my best friends that I really really missed. They all recently had babies and we were all moms this time. It is always so nice to pick up where we left off! Even though our lives have changed so much since last time I saw them, we can talk like last time we saw each other was only yesterday. I will miss them very much.


It really was a great trip!

On the serious note....

This visit was very interesting one. It really made me think about our future. I am the only child and like always there were many that told me how sorry for my parents that I am so far away. Especially my mom being pretty sick, everyone felt like they have to speak up on be half of my family. I couldn't help myself feeling how horrible child I am to leave my family. All the good things I have with my great husband and kids seemed selfish act. Above everything happening, my family is all so supportive of my life and grateful that they get to have Kai and Lily in their lives. My dad told me the best thing I can do is to be happy and raise his grand kids with love. My aunt told me that there is nothing to feel guilty. I have brought two beautiful great grand kids who are the reason for my grandma to live. I love my family and I am so sorry that I couldn't stay longer. and I am so grateful for my husband who had been so supportive and willing to let us go visit.

little something but I don't want to forget

here is another something I don't want to forget about.
Today 1/10/10, Kai went to his cousins' ward with his cousins! He was excited about that! I was worried if he would be ok in the primary. It is still his 2nd time in it. He was totally fine and Josiah said he was sitting on his seat listening to his teacher. When I saw him after his class, he showed me his new CTR ring. He was so excited!!!! He treated it like a treasure. I asked him what he learned today, he said "I learned about Jesus Smith". He was trying to say Joseph, but sounded like he said Jesus Smith. I asked "is it JOSEPH SMITH?" and he said "Yeah, Joseph Smith".

Wow.... 3 year old learned about Joseph Smith today.

We've talked about Joseph Smith at home, but I was very impressed that he remembered that was what he learned today. Apparently it made a strong enough impression on him to remember and he was able to tell me the name. I am thankful for the teacher who taught my son today, and the spirit that was there to touch his heart. These little ones are really saved for latter days. So smart! I thought to myself that me and Josey REALLY need a lot of preparing to teach these young ones at home so that they can do what they were called to do here. I had great lessons today at church and kids all had a great time at church. It wasn't super memorable day, but everyone was happy all day, we were all getting along, had a fun night together, when we said good night, kids told me "I love you" like they really meant it. Day like today is really what joy of having a gospel in life is all about.

Kai's first day of Sunbeam

While I am on the internet, I'd better write down something that I will never want to forget about my kids.
Kai started Primary last week. It was a big day for him and me. I am in the primary, so I am with him a lot of the time. I had a little talk with the president and I had to make some rules to be ready for him to come.

rules
-won't let him come to sit on the piano bench with me
-won't come to his seat to sit with him
-trust the teachers and let them handle him while I do my calling

and I was hoping that he will be so exicted to go and happy to be in the same room with me! Yeah, right.... but really hoping so.

He didn't want to go to the primary AT ALL. As he went in the room and sat on the ground crying. He was totally screaming. Our neigbor kids that Kai loves were there to help him, but that didn't work! He didn't want to be there and he didn't want to let me go. I didn't know what to do... and meanwhile I had to go up there to play the songs. It was a chaous.
I had to stick to my rules. I told him that I love him and I will be very close to him and left my screaming and crying son with his teacher and sat on the bench. It was really REALLY hard to keep my rules. Even though Kai was crying, I knew that he was trying me to see if I would give in. I could see that in his eyes. Kai was trying so hard to be with me around the piano, still screaming. (and smiling a little) His teacher asked me if it is ok for her to hold Kai and take him to the back to have a talk, that is when his heart was really broken. I knew that he was really sad. But I knew that was neseccary for him.

After kids were sent to a small room, it was a disaster....(at least it sounded like it) Kai and his buddy were screaming. Me and a few moms were outside of the room hoping that they will be better. (and really worried about thier teacher)
When the sharing time came, all the kids came back to the big primary room. Sunbeams were the last one to come. Kai was very happy and seemed to be enjoying it. He looked at me and smiled. After a few songs, it was sharing time by brother Mabey. He was really interested and was trying to participate. I sat next to the piano which is in front of the Sunbeams hoping that he will stay on his seat. He just sat on his chair still listening to the lesson and talking to his friends next to him. I looked at him and told him he was being a good boy and I love him. He just looked at me and nodded like he was saying " I know, mom" I wanted to cry. He looked so grown up all the sudden. I will never forget that moment.
He came to the bench a few times after that while I was playing the piano, but he just came to hug me and kiss me and told me that he loves me. What a sweetheart.
He did a great job on the first day. I was expecting a lot worse at biginning, but I souldn't underestimate my boy. He is a big boy. Now is an official Sunbeam.

He got a crown saying I am a child of God at the end of the class. We took pictures of him with it to remember this special day.

What a day.... to be thankful

So I am staying at my sister in law's for about a week with my kids to watch my niece and nephews. I've done it a few years ago and it was a lot of fun! This time is going to be a little different from last time since I have two kids and my niece and nephews are a little older, I am excited to spend the time with them!
Kai is super excited every morning to see his cousins. He hates them leaving to school! My nephew let Kai sleep in his bottom bunk bed, and Kai loves that. He started acting like a bigger boy since then.
So I had a whole bunch of fun things to do on Sat with kids. I had a plan to go to SLC for a few hours, so when I got back I was going to take the kids to sledding and make homemade pizzas! On Fir, I got everything ready and was really excited for Sat. Then the next day I woke up having really really bad stomachache....I mean really really painful one. I am really healthy, so when I get something like that I freak out. It was so bad that I couldn't even stand up... I think that kids could see that I was really hurting, they were really sincere....
Anyways, to make the story short, I decided to go to ER (maybe I over reacted now I think of it, but I was worried that if something happened to me and I wouldn't be able to take care of the kids.) The Dr thought that I have a ovary cyst or appendicitis. so He had me do a lot of tests (thinking is this really necessary??) came to find out that I need more tests and Dr told me depending on the results, I may be free to go home or surgery immediately....
I thought to myself, after all these tests it must be something!!! I was getting my mind ready for the bad news!
After hours and hours of waiting, Dr came to tell the result. "I am sorry, but I really don't know where your pain is coming from. Everything looks great and I can't find anything wrong with you. you are free to go." and a little more explaining of results and lots of guessing where the pain might have come from....
Me, Josiah, Lily and our friend were there just thinking.... Are you serious?
He said that CAT scan couldn't see appendix clearly, but ultrasound showed no problem. Nothing wrong anywhere. I know I should be really happy to hear that, but I didn't know what to say or think about the result. Then the thought of all the bills we need to pay for this came really fast. Our good friend said to me after me apologizing for this whole thing.... "you should be really happy about this!! It is better to know nothing wrong than getting ready to go to surgery or going through a lot of pain and being worried about kids!" That was nice thing to hear, and she is right. Then I thought all the people who were a lot more serious conditions at ER maybe hoping to be able to survive the night or something.... I really should be grateful for being ,Dr called, "Perfectly Healthy". I just really thank my kind husband who took me to the hospital and took a good care of me. I also thank my friend who made me realize that I needed to be happy about the result! I also thank my niece and nephews who watched my kids for a few hours.

On the way home me and Josiah thought we need to do something for the kids. We got their favorite pizzas and cookie dough for them. I really can't thank them enough...

Oh I had to add this! Lily had a really bad diaper rash, and super cranky! My niece may not like the idea of babysitting very much after this.... Thank her for all she tried! She told me she still loves my Lily. What an angel. My older nephew were being so sincere. While I was in pain he kept checking on me, suggesting that I should call his dad (who is a Dr). He saw me on the floor hurting and called his dad for me. When we left to hospital he showed me he will have the phone on his hand for updates. What a sweetheart. My younger nephew also told me that Kai had an accident. big one and small one all at once.... I wouldn't be happy when Kai does that. My 3rd grade nephew decided that kai needs serious help, so he took him to a tab and gave him a bath, put the dirty clothes away, and helped Kai get dressed with a new set of clothes. WHAT A NICE BOY!!!! I almost wanted to cry when I heard that. Their parents should be really proud. They are super good kids and I love them so so much.

It was a pretty painful day... but also by the end of the day I felt really good both physically and emotionally. I love them very much.

あけましておめでとうございます!

前は日本語は日本語のサイトをと思っていたんですが, やっぱり時間的に
それと私の性格的にそこまでうまくできない事を素直にうけとめて(泣)
日本語と英語のブログを1つにします! 3月から何も書き込みしてない
なんて.... 私らしい.....今年こそは日本の家族, 友達のためにも
頑張るぞぉ!!!!

So here are my goals...

I went to our ward's RS Enrichment committee meeting the other day and got to chat with really awesome ladies in our ward! During the meeting, we were talking about importance of keeping the journals, and Ah that conversation was for me from Heaven!!!! I am so not good at keeping it, but I really do see the importance of it! I was trying harder than ever at keeping kids' journals till Aug last year, then I just kinda got lazy! I know someday I will really wish that I would have kept our memories more often, so I will try really hard to blog and keep the journals this year!!!

So if I list my goals here, the little pressure may help to get me going!!??
Josiah and I always make goals as a family and ones for individual. He is very good at doing that. I am still thinking about what I want to accomplish... here are some that I am really going to try my hardest!!

-keeping my and kids journals in any way I can!
-go to the temple once a month!
-do family history
-write to my grandmas every month
-read Book of Mormon by the end of the year
-spend more quality time with kids
-learn something new
-clean and organize and maintain!!!
-garden
-work out hopefully try the short triathlon race in the Summer??
-be good at taking pics

oh... many more I am sure, but now that I have mentioned. I will get them done at least the ones that I have listed here ;0) Especially I really need help on reading a BOM. It is a challenge to all in our ward and I really want to do that!
I will keep this blog updated a lot better this year ;0)

What happened last year!!! -Christmas Letter to Friends and Family-

I am really bad at keeping a jurnal or updating the blog.... I am going to try to do better this year!!! Here is our letter that I have sent to friends and family (well... I didn't get this letter done soon enough that I didn't really send to many people...)

A Happy New Year!!!! I hope you all had a wonderful year. I say this every year, but again it feels like this year really passed like a bullet train!!! Although, we did have a pretty fun year! Kids experiencing new things and discovering the joy of all the fun holidays throughout the year made our lives so much more fun! Through the kids eyes we for sure see the blessings that God gives us everywhere every day. Here is what has happened in our family this year!

Josiah- This year is a big milestone for him. He graduated from Weber State University in Computer Engineering Technology. And is finally done with his commuting to Ogden! He got to join the team who made a hover craft for the senior project and was chosen as a senior project of the year at Weber State. He sure worked so hard and enjoyed doing the project! While working on his degree, he had worked full time to provide for the family. He sure is a hard working dad. Watching him in a gown at commencement really made us appreciate everything he did and does for us and we are so proud of him! Josiah got a great job at Sunrise Engineering last year (Thanks to the Bailey’s) and has been enjoying working there, and the work has inspired him to keep going to school to get a master’s degree. He is again back in school 2 weeks after the graduation to prepare for getting into the Masters of Electrical Engineering Program with an emphasis on electrical power at Idaho State University’s outreach program! He is still in the ARMY National Guard and is enjoying being a soldier. He is such a busy dad, but he tries hard to spend some quality time with me and the kids. We are so lucky to have him!

Yuki- getting into making tutus after making one for my niece’s b-day! Someone like me who starts making something and never finishes, I feel like I finally found a craft that I am good at doing and it made me feel good ;0) I have been working as a substitute crossing guard from this Fall and totally love it! enjoyed going to a volleyball game at church once a week and loved playing with awesome ladies in our stake! Did a lot of canning with my neighbor friend this year, was a lot of fun!! Worked really hard for making a music program for our Ward Chirstmas party and made a lot of my own arrangements! Ah it was a great time! And as always LOVE being a mom for our adorable kids! I have to admit there are days that they drive me absolutely NUTS, but there are many great moments that remind me of my calling and amazing blessings in my life!

Kai- don’t know where he gets his energy ( I claim it is Josiah’s gene) he is a very busy boy! This year he truly enjoyed all the events and was so fun to watch him enjoy every moment! Little before turning 3 he started drawing stick figure with smiley face REALLY well! Since then he absolutely LOVES drawing and we think he is pretty good at it! He also started talking a lot more! I can’t believe how much he knows and remembers! He really surprises me with crazy faces! They are sometimes so cute and funny I really need to write them down! He did great job at potty training! It took shorter than I thought! He absolutely adores his sister. He just can’t give enough hugs and kisses to her! He is pretty protective of her when we are with other kids! What a cute brother. More things he loves are his Mcqueen, UP (movie), Birthday parties, Being outside playing “bad guys”, playground, throwing rocks in the river, playing in the dirt with his cars, noodles, Tofu, Natto, pizzas, hamburgers, library, ice cream cone, bed time story, candyland, praying, church, his friends and cousins, grandparents, and of course his family! He is such a fun kid! We love him!!!

Lily- She is such a good girl! She was just a new born at the beginning of this year, but now she is One year old! Lately she started to walk and talk! Ah, she is just so cute! She is such a mama’s girl, she follows everywhere mommy goes. And of course her first word was MAMA!!! We can’t tell between Daddy and Petey and according to her Daddy and Pete says “woof woof” ;0) She is such a good eater, I think she eats more than Kai. She won’t let you go till she gets a bite of what you are eating! Kai is always her target! Even though she gets lots of scratches from her big brother, she loves playing with Kai and tries to copy whatever he does! She LOVES her bath time and cries for joy like a dinosaur baby when I turn on the water! She has a perfect smile and her cute hugs and kisses make me and daddy feel so loved.

Pete- He found his best friend! Our neighbor dog “BUDDY” is his best buddy. They have a great time running and wrestling in our yard! He is such an energetic dog, and he just loves everyone who visits our home and dying to lick them to death! Someday he may calm down a little or will he ever?? Kids love him and he just loves them! He is such a good dog! He just let them do ANYTHING.