アメリカに帰る何日か前に, 海の幼稚園の参観日がありました.
この日に思った事はしっかり残さなきゃと思い, ここにもかきました.
A few days before we left Japan, we had parents day at his preschool.
I really felt that I need to write down what I felt that day.
いつも帰って来ると私にベタベタで, 疲れてるはずなのにまだあそぼうよの毎日....
私はもう!!暑いんだからとかのっかるなぁ!!! とか, まだ遊びたいの??
少しやすみなよ!!とか何度も冷たい態度をとってしまったりしてて, あの子の頭の中の事を考えてあげてなかったなぁとかなり反省しました.
Whenever he came home from school, he wouldn't let me go. He always wanted to play with me and wanted my FULL attention. I wasn't always nice to him. Now I think of it, I was pretty cold to him. I didn't try hard enough to care his needs every time he asked me to do something with him.
年長さんと一緒の1ヵ月間, 先生からも何度も海が友達に手をあげてしまったと言う電話があり, 幼稚園早かったかなとか.... 私の育て方悪いのか.... とか色々悩んだりもしました. そんな時, おばさんに今海は社会勉強してるんだから, ここでちゃんといいこと悪いこと教えて, 勉強させてあげなよ! と励まされ, 海も
慣れない環境でがんばりました.
He was put into the oldest class there. I often got a call from his teacher saying Kai hit his friends... Kai pinched his friends... She explained me that it looked like he was just so excited to be there that he doesn't know how to express his excitement. But still it was not good to be physical like that. Whenever I got phone calls I regretted putting Kai in the school. I thought him being physical might not be him showing excitement and it could be his frustration not knowing the language and not being able to communicate.
I really thought about pulling him out of school, but my aunt told me that if I did so I would take Kai's social learning opportunities away. That is true. I wanted him to learn. Me and Kai often had talks about respect and care for others. He seemed to understand what we talked about little by little as days went by.
私を見ながらニコニコして, 手をふって, すごくうれしそうにしてる海. とってもかわいかった. ちゃんと先生の指示にもしたがって, まわりのお友達のしてる事を見ながらちゃんと椅子に座って, お絵書きしてて. もっとお歌とか手遊びとかあるのかなぁと思ってたのが, さすが年長組! やることや本の内容とかがけっこう海の年には高度で, この中で頑張ってたんだぁと思うと胸があつくなって, ぎゅうっと抱きしめてあげたくなりました. 全く日本語が出なかった海. きっと彼も戸惑ってた毎日だったんだろうな... 友達になろうっ, 皆と同じくなろうって頑張ってたんだろうな.... 3才の子供には結構過酷な事をさせてしまったかもと反省したのと同時に毎朝笑顔でバスにのって楽しんでやりとげた海がとてもたくましく見えました.
During my visit, he was so excited to see me. He was waving at me and looked so happy to have me. He was so cute. He was listening to his teacher pretty well, and followed his friends to get his project done. He stayed seated the whole time I was there. I imagined that his age level will be doing a lot of singing, dancing, playing, drawing and stuff, but the oldest class is getting ready to be in the 1st grade. Kai had a little bit of taste of being in the kindergarten. It must have been tough for him. Thinking about that almost made me cry. I bet he was trying so hard to understand what was going on, trying to fit in, trying to speak their language.... It wasn't easy for a 3 year old. It sure wasn't easy for me to go to foreign county when I was 15. Kai, I am so proud of you.
すごいなぁ海. 頑張ったんだね. 沢山ほめてあげなきゃね.
パパとママの産まれ育った国が違う. 自分はアメリカ人であって, 日本人でもある...
これからいいことも辛い事もいっぱいあると思うけど2つの文化に誇りを持って育っ
てほしいなと思います.
I bet it is not easy having parents from different counties, cultures... Especially when he is in Japan. He will be always different from others. I hope that the difference will be a positive thing for him and Lily. And I need to teach and raise my kids in a way that they will be proud to be half Japanese and American.
2 comments:
Wow, he was in the oldest kids class. He will do so when he starts preschool. I hear you about being annoyed with him wanting your full attention. Beckett is that way too. It is hard to drop what your doing to give them all your attention sometimes.
You are such a good mom Yukie. You are patient and your thoughts here, say that you reflect on things, and I know you will always have Kai's needs in mind when he makes demands of you. I'm sure he learned things and grew from his experience. It's a good thing to have two cultures to study and learn about. the kids will be just fine and they will have a love for Japan, as well as America. They sure could not be cuter kids. Both of them are adorable.
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